To Save a Boy and His Pet Rock: Magic Crystal (1986)

When Andy Lo (Andy Lau) gets word from a friend of his to meet in Greece about a hot, new archaeological find, he’s glad to go. Accompanied by his nephew Pin-Pin (Bin Bin) and his partner Pancho (Jin Wong), Andy discovers his pal Shen (Philip Ko) is in big, big trouble. Some Russian goons pretending to be Interpol are trying to take him into custody. Real agents of Interpol—the kick ass Cindy Morgan (Cynthia Rothrock) and her partner (Siu Chung Mok)—are trying to keep him out of enemy hands. Apparently, a big bad called Karov (Richard Norton) wants Shen’s find for himself, and he will spare no expense to get it. But why?

Well, Shen gets shot and taken prisoner but not before dumping the find in a suitcase in his pal’s hotel room. Instead of going to Andy, however, it is Pin-Pin who discovers the miracle item. In fact, the find is a magical crystal capable of both communication and bestowing empowering blessings. The baddies find out where it landed, get the wrong impression, and threaten Shen’s sister Winnie (Sharla Cheung) and Andy’s sister (Wei-Wei Huang) to get it, forcing Andy and his allies to think fast and work hard to save loved ones and take the fight to the baddies.

However, before he can kick Karov’s hind end, Andy winds up imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit. Can he get out, find the crystal, and use it to both solve the mystery and defeat evil? Or will trouble find its way to Pin-Pin’s doorstep? Writer/director Jing Wong crams together a kids fantasy flick with a martial arts adventure and gets a fun, high kicking, somewhat silly, and heartwarming result with Magic Crystal (1986).

I cannot help but wonder if this was the film ticking along in the backs of the minds responsible for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008). The two movies share several qualities and story beats, and this one is certainly indebted to the Indiana Jones franchise in much of its third act, which finds out heroes venturing beneath Grecian ruins, finding secret tunnels, encountering death traps, and a uncovering a secret buried since ancient days. Had the fourth Indiana Jones movie abandoned some of its technical envelope pushing efforts and gone for Magic Crystals’ grade-A pure fun, it would have been a much more enjoyable experience overall.

Ah well.

The special effects here are mostly lightshow work. The actors are bathed in light or stare in wonder at midair, hoping the swirls and activity added during post production will mesh with their facial expressions. Oftentimes, the result is fun; sometimes, it is ludicrous.

According to an interview with Rothrock (found on the Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray release), the director was not great about telling the actors what to expect. “Look up,” he’d say. “At what?” she asked. “Doesn’t matter,” the director would reply, “Just look up.” So they do with mixed emotional responses. Wouldn’t  you know this turns out to be a big story point in the finished film? A little heads up for what to emote probably would’ve been helpful. And yet, such moments rob little from the film itself.

The trick here is that while the action is exquisitely choreographed, the fights rock, and the adventure is sweeping, there’s always a sense of humor at play. A little bit of a light touch goes a long way, and while targeting the Pancho character’s incompetence and chubbiness has not aged necessarily well, there are plenty of situational gags that don’t require such targets.

Bin Bin is an adorable child actor here. When his character is beset by a bully, his small size really demands empathy. When the magic crystal helps Pin-Pin defeat his bully enemy, we cheer; when the crystal convinces him to help the other kid up and forgive, we grin and shake our heads in goofy sympathy. The friendship that forms between child and mineral feels real, and the shenanigans they get up to are fun.

Andy Lau is terrific as the leading man of action. He’s got a great sense of physicality and a dynamite screen presence.

Cynthia Rothrock steals the show. This time around, she gets to use a lot of the weapons for her parts, including a spear and numerous swords/blades. She is fast, furious, and cute as a button, and I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t watch her do her thing in these Hong Kong action flicks all day. She actually stopped working on Righting Wrongs (1986) to make this movie (with studio permission), and it’s a neat flick.

Richard Norton is a solid baddie, bringing smarm and swagger to the role. His sai work is exemplary—there’s at least one jaw dropping moment of whirling weapons work that has to be seen to be believed—and he’s got the chops to seem like he really can stave off three or four trained and highly competent attackers at the same time.

But the secret weapon here is Wei-Wei Huang, who plays Andy’s sister as a couch potato television junkie when we first meet her, but who becomes a whirling, ass-kicking martial arts machine when her quality time is ruined by intruding baddies. A lot of fun.

The Vinegar Syndrome edition is a part of their Vinegar Syndrome Archives. The restoration is wonderful, the sound is good. Accompanying special features include the aforementioned interview with Rothrock, a new interview with Wen “Bin Bin” Chao-Yu, a commentary track with film historians Frank Djeng and Ric Meyers, and an essay. Also a double-sided poster and VHS style/bottom loaded slipcase because every VSA includes those.

As sf/fantasy flicks with kids in peril, martial arts masters showing their stuff, and cops who kick go, Magic Crystal is a total blast. Those viewers looking for harder edged material will likely be less impressed. This stuff is all light as a feather. However, letting the flick do its own thing and following along to see where it goes and how it gets there is certainly rewarding for folks with a tolerance for family friendly fare.

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Magic Crystal is available in a VOD edition. The Blu-ray is part of the VS Archive imprint and therefore only available directly from the Vinegar Syndrome website or select third party vendors.

Next, we will take a look at the noir-inflected, gothic horror film Dragonwyck. It is available in DVD, Blu-ray, and VOD editions.

Writing for “To Save a Boy and His Pet Rock: Magic Crystal (1986)” is copyright © 2023 by Daniel R. Robichaud.

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