Blonde Fury: Lady Reporter (1989)

When the FBI discovers the US is being flooded with counterfeit hundred dollar bills, their best analysts trace the funny money to Hong Kong. It’s time to call in a specialist agent to crack the case. As it turns out, Cindy (Cynthia Rothrock) went to school in HK, has plenty of contacts there, and can […]

Poseidon’s On a Mission/About to Turn It Up to Eleven: Charles Williams’ Dead Calm

John and Rae Ingram decided to get away from it all, taking to the sea in their luxury yacht Saracen. Unfortunately for them, they ran afoul of a lack of wind and were becalmed, pretty much stopped at sea. Neither of them was a stranger to such things, and neither of them was terribly put […]

Three Generations of Crime(solvers): Nina Simon’s Mother-Daughter Murder Night

Lana Rubicon is a strong, independent woman, used to heading multimillion dollar construction projects and land deals. So, when she’s diagnosed with brain cancer, she assumes the surgical method will remove the issue and she will be back in action in a matter of weeks. Six weeks tops. Her daughter Beth is less optimistic, but […]

Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer … You Had a Busy Day Today: Abigail (2024)

A team of six professionals undertake a mission to kidnap a young girl (codenamed Tiny Dancer) from her fancy house and then babysit her for 24 hours. By then, her rich daddy should have coughed up $50 million for her safe return. None of the crooks knows one another, each has a given name taken […]

Five Pronouncements of Doom: Dr. Terror’s House of Horror (1965)

Five occupants of a train’s coach find themselves drawn into a bit of storytelling and fortune telling by the sixth, an eerie but sociable gentleman calling himself Dr. Schreck (Peter Cushing), whose name he explains, is German for Terror. Using a pack of tarot cards, Dr. Schreck offers to reveal a possible, supernatural future as […]

You Are What You Dream: Underworld (1985)

Roy Bain (Larry Lamb) would rather spend his days painting than getting involved with old, bad influences like gangster-turned-industrialist Motherskille (Steven Berkoff). However, when Bain’s old flame Nicole (Nicola Cowper) is kidnapped by persons unknown, Motherskille hires the former gumshoe to take one last case. The investigation leads Bain to Pepperdine (Ingrid PItt) an exclusive […]

There’s Nothing Common About Lando Calrissian: Justina Ireland’s Lando’s Luck

Remember that time when Lando Calrissian owned the Millenium Falcon and wound up trying to get his neck out of the noose from two sets of bounty hunters, a lethal Queen, and her precocious daughter, Princess Rinetta? You don’t? Well, not many people do … You see, it all starts with a game of Sabacc […]

Falling in Love or Just Falling? Love Lies Bleeding (2024)

Lou (Kristen Stewart) works at the seedy Crater Gym in a small urban area of the American southwest. She keep the place relatively orderly, fends off desperate ex-girlfriends like Daisy (Anna Baryshnikov), and tries to be a guardian angel for her sister Beth (Jena Malone). However, you can only clean out so many toilets, watch […]

Marina! It Is Time to Feed the Fish: The Fish with the Eyes of Gold (1974)

The beautiful Belgian tourist Hilde (Susana Taber) is enjoying a private cover, swimming and sunbathing when a snorkeler in the rubber wetsuit comes along. At first, she is pleased to see him—does she know him, perhaps? Then, the knife appears. Passing boater Zachary Kendall (Ricardo Vázquez) stops off to help, but the murderer has gutted […]

Not So Violent Blood Bath: Penalty of Death (1974)

Oscar Bataille (Fernando Rey) is a French prosecutor who specializes in violent crimes, pleading punishments for murderers and fiends to the full extent of the law. He’s been a big proponent of the guillotine death penalty. Over his career, Bataille has killed dozens in this way, saving society from the burden of supporting monsters for […]